Best Practice: Tools and Tips for Divorced Parents and Divorce ...

Leveraging agreements

? The term leveraging is often used to describe politicians? efforts to assert power and influence.? Robert Caro?s books, for example, describe LBJ?s skill at leveraging his access to wealthy political contributors to bring political adversaries to his side of an issue (or to do his bidding).? But many are skeptical of such use of power, it seems manipulative and dishonest. Should such tactics play any part in a principled negotiation?? ? Using relative advantage to coerce an agreement can, indeed, erode trust and set unfortunate precedents.? I might, for example, remind you of my greater financial resources as I threaten to bury you in court if you don?t accept my proposal.? ?? But using leverage is also an aspect of being persuasive?a perfectly acceptable negotiation skill.?? Negotiators, for example, leverage the power of information and closely held values to bring others around to a particular view of a problem. LBJ persuaded Republican congressmen to drop their resistance to the civil rights act by reminding them that they ?were the party of Lincoln.? I might dissuade you from buying a beautiful, exotic shrub that requires a lot of water by reminding you of our commitment to xeriscaping in our dry climate.? You can also leverage knowledge of the other party?s weak Plan B to persuade them to your way of thinking.? I might agree to hire that landscaping company you like after you point out that if I don?t, I?m the one who will be digging in the shrubs. ?? Divorcing parents can use this same approach. One mother, for instance, dreaded the expected contentious discussions about dividing the marital estate.? Her husband, a skilled, tough negotiator, didn?t mind a donnybrook. He believed a good negotiation was an argument. Furthermore, he was quick with numbers, demanding, and stubborn in his thinking about what a fair division would look like?qualities that gave him a great deal of negotiating power. But after she reminded him each time they met how hurt he felt as a boy hearing his parents bicker during their divorce and his commitment not to expose their children to the same, he altered his approach. She leveraged the value he placed on giving the children a feeling of security and his commitment to shield the children from bickering to persuade him to take a cooperative posture in their negotiations.? And by so doing, she set an important precedent: We will use shared values and commitments to guide our discussions, rather than a solely self-serving outlook.?

Source: http://aeschylus-otis.blogspot.com/2012/07/leveraging-agreements.html

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